So today’s Maryam’s second day at her Daycare (Childcare). And yes, of course, yesterday was her first. Nanny-less days have come and the episode of morning-crying-along-the-way-to-office starts again. I said, it is this (unexpectedly) uneasy of leaving my daughter “alone”, even more at a Daycare, with some nannies I have just known for the last few days. But it is my and my husband’s choice of giving a trust at a Daycare. At least, there won’t be TV-series-without-value (sinetron–in Indonesia) she’ll going to watch during at the Daycare. And by then, as she growing, we hope that she’ll be more sociable than if she “just” staying at home with her “only” nanny.
She looked sad when I picked her up after around 4 hours staying at the Daycare. I knew she was looking for me and her dad. And when she woke up from her nap, she did not find either me or her dad. 😥
Though I’m starting to think of giving up my “formal” job. A bit. But it’s not that easy. I will only give up my job as I start pursuing my master degree, and start over something bigger after my master study. And that’s keeping me to be motivated to stay at the office a bit “longer”. This is what I chose. And all must have its trade-off. I chose to make my career as running my family life, so that I have to let some of my time not seeing my daughter at least half of my day. And this is how I train my self, that someday she’ll step her feet and see others, not to share her whole lifetime with only me, and that I have to let her run her own life.